It's 11:00 PM and my urge to write is immense. After reading post after post of my favorite blogs, I've come to a conclusion. Life is inadequately beautiful. Others daily routines can be our fulfilment for the day, a fantasy we can live vicariously through. But, it's glorified in our minds and made to seem like it's productivity is thoroughly implanted.
I have been registering for my college classes and it is incredibly frustrating. Yet, the frustration I feel is accompanied by happiness, understanding, and progression. In my frustration I found that I had so many options available to me, it was completely my choice, however, sometimes I think we get too comfortable with our agency and when it's taken away we realize how helpful it actually was. Independence is a funny thing. There's such a negative connotation with being dependent. Why shouldn't we ask for help? Why shouldn't we want to make our load easier? Because we are a prideful people. What I would give for some help right now much like I was given by my high school counsellor. Nevertheless, my new found freedom is freeing (redundant?) but instead of feeling like I can spread my wings and fly, I feel as though I've been placed in a bigger bird cage with fewer birds. I feel alone in my endeavours. As my dad says "focus on the now" and I'm trying, but there's so much to look forward to and to anticipate. Until those days,
-Heather Lynn
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